She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
