Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My balls are so social today.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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