I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
