wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i would one night stand the shit outta him
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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