OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
