i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
