if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
