just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize