we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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