hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
