I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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