i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
