We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
