Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
