do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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