this will be a night to untag.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
