i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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