dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
