Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
