Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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