Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
