Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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