Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
