Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
