spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
