My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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