everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize