jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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