That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
someone threw a dead crab at me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
