Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
