I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
im on a boat
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