Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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