just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
