Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
