oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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