the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
