Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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