Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
