There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
