It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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