I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
