Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
