He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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