sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
