I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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