I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
