yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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