I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
