I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
