So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just high enough for therapy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
