she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
