I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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