One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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