ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
