You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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