How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize