Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
