we have pet lesbian snakes
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
