I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
