A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
