please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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