i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
