There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
