What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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