i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
