She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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