How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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