I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
