I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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