I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Randomize