I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
